I register, and enter the murky world of two-timing technology, taking note of the warning on the site: "Not all affairs have a positive effect on a marriage." What a masterpiece of understatement.
I wonder if anyone has ever read this, seen the wisdom of it and decided not to join. "I'm witty, charming, handsome and modest, and I'm kind to animals," I write, hoping this description will have a fairly broad appeal, and also include a recent photograph.
Some prefer not to have a Facebook at all (myself included), while others have a profile, but would rather not drag mutual friends into the dating equation.
Whatever the case may be, there are enough dating apps in the sea to satisfy pretty much every possible need.
Her photograph reveals that the hour has stretched to 90 minutes.
I'm already starting to feel like I've had enough of this experiment.
And as for Tinder, sure, it can be used for swiftly finding a one-night stand, but there are If your life is too busy to squeeze in the time-consuming intricacies of a longer-term relationship, or you're just looking for a little low-stakes fun tonight, you need a quick, surefire way to find a quality fling.
Dance clubs and dive bars may have worked in the '90s, but now, even if you’re out, your phone is a much easier way to find someone to "watch Netflix and chill" with (especially someone you won’t regret tomorrow).
The idea is presumably to safeguard people from searching for their own spouses on the site - though how a husband would explain to his errant wife how he came to stumble across her picture on a website for adulterers, I don't know.
In order to fit in with the general ethos of the website I have invented a wife.
Our relationship, I note, has suffered because we don't spend enough time together (not surprising really, since she doesn't exist).
So I paid £119 for a month's membership, giving me an entre to thousands of faithless females.
They are allowed to sign up for free as a way of ensuring the numbers are balanced between the sexes.